Not even there yet.

So I had a breakdown... and I'm not even there yet.
I don't know, I guess it just all hit me at once.
I don't want to go away and be alone. Who can I turn to when something happens? My family will stay here, my best friends are going to different colleges, my boyfriend is going to move up in a month and while my roommate's cool, I wonder if she can handle a crazy person like me.
I'm a bit random, and I am very very hyper, and I wonder if that will be too much for her. Not to mention she's only my roommate for 6 weeks, and I don't even have a way of speaking to my fall roommate.
Then on the other hand, I want my independence. I want to be able to leave the room without 5 people asking me where I'm going. I want to be on my own and establish my responsibilities away from my parents. I want to be able to stay out late, even if I come home early. I want the ability, the freedom. But I don't want to be alone.
I'm a mind full of contradictions.
Great, now I sound like Hamlet.
Then there's the stress of adjusting to college life. New home, New classes, New people.
It all hit me at once, But I got over it.
I pushed those fears away.
They are menial. They don't matter.
Whether I'm ready or not, I start college on wednesday, so I might as well get ready right? right.
I can do this, I know I can. I just have to rid myself of the normal fears that everyone has at some point. I'm a great student, a giving friend, a normal girl. A girl who shouldn't worry about the small things. Of course my roommate can handle me, I'm not psychotic. Yea I'll be on my own, but I have to do it at some point. There's always skype, texting, and calling. Facebook is good for a lot of things these days so I'll be fine.
The hard part is convincing my mom of that...
Wish me luck!

<3 Always Felicia